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  • Writer's pictureBenjamin Schilaty

Being Awesome

Becoming ridiculously awesome is simple. You need to offer your friends free food as much as possible. Also, you need to plan frequent parties that are also awesome, but varied so that people don't get bored. You need to come up with a catch phrase (ie. stay rad!). Always be doing something awesome with your life and talk about the awesome things that you do in the presence of others, but not is such a way that you look prideful. Don't break anyone's nose, even by accident. Be friends with everyone. Get your homework done early so that your nights can be filled with untold partying. Recommend new music to your friends. Say witty things. Dress fashionably. Attend BYU sporting events. Become proficient in Spanish. Go on a road trip and post pictures on Facebook. Always have fresh breath. Don't do anything that can be scrutinized. Register as a Republican. Dance in public, but not in a goofy way. Use widely accepted bad grammar (ie. never use the word "whom"). Get your nails done once a month. Have awesome roommates. Give clever advice (ie. "no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care"). Don't be a prude. Learn the Hoe Down Throw Down. Be confident, but not cocky. Never speak in a fake accent or you baby talk. Actively listen. Surprise people on their half birthdays. Don't watch TV unless you're at a party. See cool movies as soon as they come out so that you can discuss them freely and recommend them to others. Exercise regularly. Make your name into an acronym. Have a job that others covet. Make everyone around you feel good. Those are just a few ideas. I'm not saying that you don't do those things, I'm just letting you know that that's what it takes to be awesome. B.E.N. (Bodies Enjoy Nitrogen)I had completely forgotten about this and reading it again made me laugh out loud. I hope I'm still as awesome as I was in 2010, but if I'm not at least I have some good advice from 26 year old Ben on how to become awesome. However, I would pass on the advice about getting my nails done.
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