Ben Schilaty
A Love Letter to the Other Moms
“Look around. Who needs you and your influence? If we really want to make a difference, it will happen as we mother those we have borne...
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Ben Schilaty: Therapist, Author, Podcaster
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Ben Schilaty
Nov 6, 20238 min
Up to Date
I have been so open and so public about my choice to be a single, openly gay Latter-day Saint that, to maintain a spirit of openness and...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Aug 2, 20234 min
Hurt Hearts and New Starts
In every relationship with someone I deeply love–parents, siblings, roommates, friends–I have hurt them or they have hurt me. When humans...
528 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
Jul 12, 20233 min
Some Thoughts on Charlie and Ryan's Engagement
In the weeks since Charlie and Ryan publicly announced their engagement, I’ve received a lot of messages about their decision to get...
1,263 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
May 17, 20235 min
Why We Gather
Normally my path never would have crossed with Charlie’s. We ran in different circles, had a ten year age gap, and had no overlapping...
260 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
Jan 10, 202322 min
Feared, Pitied, and Honored
Note: In May 2021 I was asked to speak to a Jewish audience about what it has been like for me to be a gay Latter-day Saint. The...
267 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
May 26, 20223 min
Remembering Alison
Last Friday I learned that my friend Alison had passed away earlier that morning. She was diagnosed with cancer just the week before and...
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Benjamin Schilaty
May 15, 20225 min
She Doesn’t Dance Anymore
Alzheimer’s destroys a person slowly. The brain gradually builds up plaque and stops working little by little. It’s hard to notice the...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Apr 17, 20228 min
A 1/4 Romance and the Choice to Not Be in Love
This is definitely an odd and awkward post to follow my previous post detailing all my same-sex romances (which totaled one and a...
87 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
Jan 19, 20228 min
I'd Rather Not Be Single
On December 8, 2021 Tom Christofferson posted on Facebook that he was going to begin dating men while maintaining the same dating...
203 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
Jan 12, 20223 min
The Man in the Nursing Home
I share this story with Fred’s permission. This past summer a bishop contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to visit a member of his...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Feb 17, 20214 min
Sometimes People Surprise You
My dad doesn’t fly. He has really bad tinnitus--ringing in his ears--and he worries that flying could make something already unbearable...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Jan 13, 20214 min
I Knew When to Come out
For years I surrounded my secret in protective armor, afraid of letting anyone else see what I was hiding. Would they hate me as much as...
32 views0 comments
Benjamin Schilaty
Nov 10, 20204 min
The Power of Proximity
I totally have a crush on Sharon Eubank. My admiration for her deepened during her most recent General Conference talk when she said,...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Aug 17, 20205 min
How to Avoid Being a Jerk to Gay People
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of experience being a jerk. I rarely behave like a jerk on purpose, it happens most frequently...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Jul 27, 20205 min
I Work in Building Named after a Man Who Said Homophobic Things
Disclaimer: Like all my posts, I speak only for myself here. I do not speak for my employer nor do I speak for other queer people...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Mar 4, 20206 min
The Love of God in the Toughest of Times
Friday, September 4th, 2015 was one of the worst nights of life. My stake president called me unexpectedly. Over the past six months we...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Feb 12, 20204 min
I’m (hopefully) Less Racist than I Used to Be
As a tall, white, English speaking, educated male with hair, I’m one of the most privileged people on the planet. And I have a lot of...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Oct 21, 20196 min
There Will Be No Conversion Therapy in Zion
In 2007, at the age of 23, my parents became the 5th and 6th people I told that I was attracted to men. They were immediately loving and...
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Benjamin Schilaty
Sep 25, 20194 min
The Place Where I Found the Courage to Be Me
Last year after giving a presentation at BYU on the LGBTQ & SSA student experience at BYU, a professor came up to me and asked what it...
6 views0 comments
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