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  • Writer's pictureBenjamin Schilaty

Happy Borthday, Michael!

Michael frequently brings up that no one cared about his birthday.  A week ago Saturday a group of us were eating at the Guadalajara Grill and Michael was once again explaining how his family doesn't love him because they basically forgot his birthday. I leaned over to Amy Flood and said, "We should throw Michael a surprise birthday party so he stops complaining."  She loved the idea and we started scheming.  I was originally thinking that we would have a "Happy Birthday, Michael" sign, a cake, we'd sing, and that would be it.  Well, I told Lindsey and Sarah about the plan we'd hatched in the parking lot and they loved it.  Loved it so much that the little gesture I envisioned transformed into a full blown party. 

As the party planning continued we thought of more and more ways to make fun of Michael.  He claims to be able to do a spot on impression of Elmo, but we have our doubts since he's too embarrassed to show it to any of us.  Elmo quickly became a party theme.  Sarah made Elmo cupcakes and I got an Elmo piñata. 

Sarah and Lindsey made a banner that said, "Family Love Michael" which is a joke from Arrested Development; Michael's favorite show that he's always quoting. 

They also thought it'd be hilarious to throw copious amounts of confetti when he walked in the door which we of course did.  Since yesterday was nowhere near Michael's actual birthday, he was a little confused when he walked into the room and we started shouting at him while smothering him in confetti, but he caught on to what was happening pretty fast. 

Amy Flood was in charge of party games and she did not disappoint.  First, we played a game in which we had to answer 10 questions about Michael.  And then we played "Pin the Michael on the Audi."  Michael loves his Audi as much as a man can love his car so Amy drew something that resembled a car on a poster board and then printed off a bunch of pictures of Michael's face that we then had to pin on the Audi while blindfolded.  It was a hoot. 

We then went outside to break the piñata.  We hadn't planned out this part and didn't know where would be a good place to attack the piñata.  We ended up on the dirt road in front of their house which, due to all the huge potholes in it, looks more like Iraq than a street.  Josh climbed up a tree that was covered in spikes and hung the piñata for us.  Amy Flood then maliciously knocked off both of Elmo's legs in one swift swipe.  

And now that Michael can no longer complain about his forgotten birthday, he can move on to complaining about other things like slow drivers, the shabbiness of Tucson, far away parking, and people that care too much about ultimate frisbee.  

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